#3. or, how I spent my thanksgiving vacation. or, words of wisdom from an 8 year old.

This was the first year I’ve spent Thanksgiving anywhere but my momma’s kitchen. Well, either there or in front of the TV catching the scores of football games in between naps…and hanging out with my cousins and extended family in the evening. Part of me was sad when I realized Tuesday before Thanksgiving that I would miss all that this year…but, then I snapped back to reality. Because this year, I spent my Thanksgiving break in Virginia – hanging out with my brother, sister-in-law, nieces, and one of my “Byerley” cousins from Texas.

I had such a fantastic time, I must say. It was definitely a much needed escape from reality, and I am so thankful that I was able to go…even though they did put me to work cooking Thanksgiving dinner! Why they trusted me to do that is still beyond me…but why I trusted Richie and Christopher with sharp knives in my presence still eludes me – so I guess we’re even. Clearly, I was so sleepy I didn’t even realize what was going on.

I also learned why God didn’t see fit to give me two brothers instead of one. I have bruises on me that I can not explain. I think it’s evident that they were beating up on me even while I slept (what little bit of sleep I managed to get). My long weekend was filled with cooking, talking, shopping (at 3:30 Friday morning for the next big coveted toy this year),



And this was the line to get into the NEX at 3:25 a.m. Friday morning.

playing games, laughing, watching movies, touring U.S. Naval Ships,



The USS Iwo Jima (among others)

and having the sweetest conversations with my 8 year old niece.

Let me just say first that I can not imagine loving my own children more than I love my nieces and nephew. Of course, all the moms out there will tell me that it’s different, and I’m sure you’re right. But for me, right now, I just can’t. I remember when we found out Peyton was on his way…I was so excited. So excited to be an Aunt for the first time. And Peyton, well, Peyton has proved to be the best nephew ever. He makes me laugh, and cry sometimes, and he’s serious, and goofy, and perfect in every way. He had my heart from the word go…and I think he knew it. He had a rocky start when he got here, but he is growing up to be one heck of a guy. I can not wait to see what’s in store for his life. God is going to use him in a mighty way, I’m sure of it. And then, just when we thought that we were NEVER going to see another baby again – Lindsey and Richie found out Avery was on her way. Can we say excited?! Oh yeah, I was ecstatic. And then, just after that news broke, Kelly and Ronnie find out they are having another one – and here comes Madelyn. Those little girls…they are really something – just 2 months apart...it’s like having twins in the family. They are prissy and sassy and pinked out…and I love them more than words could ever express.  

And then there’s the most recent addition to the Byerley family: Finley. Wow. Just when I thought that my heart was about to overflow, along comes Fin. She scrunches her little nose up when she laughs and smiles - and once again, I’m a goner. I think I’ve officially had ‘sucker’ stamped on my forehead all over again. But it's ok. Really, it is. I wouldn't have it any other way.



Avery called me into her to show me this: "I heart Aunt Ashley"
Yep, i teared up a little.
And then I got my camera out to snap a quick pic.



There’s nothing in this world like being an Aunt, and I love every single minute of it. I’d go without anything for those kids. I love each of them so much that sometimes it baffles me. That’s what love and family is all about though, right? Love. Wait, scratch that - unconditional love. The kind that says: “Yeah, I know sometimes you do stuff you shouldn’t, even when you know better. But, no matter what you do wrong or right, I’ll never love you any different. No more, no less. I just promise to love you, always.”

  






Anyway, back to my story…as 8 year olds tend to be, Avery is inquisitive. And so, it shouldn’t have come as a big surprise when she point blank asked me Thanksgiving night about my divorce. For someone who talks a lot…ok, a whole lot, I found myself stumbling over words. I couldn’t form a coherent sentence to save my life. So, I pushed it under the rug and told her that I’d feel better if we talked about it with her mom and dad. She protested for a bit, but agreed to wait. Whew. Crisis avoided. We shopped the next day (my shopping with Lindsey started at 2:30 a.m.), hung out around the house…toured an active Navy ship and played around on the base on Saturday. And as promised, I took Avery to see Megamind Saturday night. Seeing as how we were so busy, Avery forgot about that important conversation we were supposed to have…for a little while. Saturday night, we decided to go see a late movie, and just about the time we shut the truck doors to head to the movie theater, she asked me again. “Aunt Ashley?” “Yes baby?,” I said. I knew what was coming. “What happened with you and Eric?” This is about the time I got the sinking feeling that I couldn’t avoid it any more. I was going to have to talk to her about it. I was going to have to help her understand this. “Well, Avery,” I began, “we…are not going to be married anymore. I didn’t want it to be this way, but sometimes, some things just don’t work out like we want them to.” “So you guys are getting a divorce, then?” “Yes, baby. We are getting a divorce.” Avery stared off out her window for a little while as we drove on…she was lost in her own thoughts. We both were, I suppose. Then, out of nowhere, “Aunt Ashley?” “Yes, Avery?” “Aunt Ashley, I think the next guy that you love is really going to love you. He’s going to treat you like you should be treated. He’s going to be the greatest guy ever. I just know it.” And this – this is where I almost had to pull the truck over. I was overwhelmed with tears and emotions. Her little hand found its way to mine, and she squeezed it and smiled at me. And there, in that sweet little face, I saw my life in a new way, once again. Through the eyes of a little girl. No wonder Jesus said that we should have faith like a child. I learned so much from that conversation. And I’m convinced that I’ll never forget that lesson.